Regrets, we all have them. So how can we do something really simple which can reduce the regrets?

When I’m gathering life stories and “getting to know” someone so I can write a ceremony for a funeral and I’m sitting and talking with either the person whose funeral it will be, or their family, I’m often amazed at the life they’ve lived. Everybody has their story and every one of these stories should to be told and celebrated. Often, there are stories shared that even the closest family members didn’t know, and people will say “I wish I knew that before they died”, or I wish I’d had more time with them and talked to them more.

Nearly 16 years ago, before I was a funeral celebrant, my father died, and when my brother was reading the Eulogy at Dad’s funeral I found out that Dad had been a great tennis player and that he actually wanted to be a doctor but his circumstances didn’t allow that as he needed to go out and get a job. I’ve always been sorry I didn’t know either of those things.I also realised that I'd had no opportunity to provide any input for the funeral service as it was to be in a church and the church protocols would be followed, so no input from some uppity daughter, thank you! Since then, I have preferred personalised, heart-felt funerals and have always shuddered at black hearses...

None of us is getting any younger and as we make it past our 50th or 60th birthday, a lot of people start thinking about the fact that we are mortal, that one day, we won’t be having any more birthdays.

We attend funerals of friends, colleagues, and family and sometimes of people we didn’t know very well, or not at all, but each time, we’re reminded that this life is finite and none of us are getting out of this thing called life, alive.

At the start of the Covid pandemic, my beloved cousin died suddenly of a massive heart attack and we were restricted at that time to only 20 attendees at his funeral which was limited to half an hour duration. It was heart breaking. He certainly didn’t expect to die so early and he left behind a 13 year old daughter who had so many questions about him, and his life.

Regrets, we all have them. So how can we do something really simple which can reduce the regrets? Firstly, get out there and live life, embrace the people you care about, spend time with them, call them, share your life with them, love them, and secondly have all your affairs in order so you can get on with living your life.

One of the biggest gifts you can give to the people you care about is having your end of life plans, including a plan for how you’d like your funeral to be, written down and shared with them. Once this knowledge is shared, there’s no uncertainty and when you come to the end of your life, the people who are left behind can deal with their grief and it isn’t made worse by confusion, stress and guilt over what you might have wanted.

I understand what is needed to put these plans in place, I understand how difficult it can be talking about these things, but I can make this whole process easy for you, I can even offer a pre-paid funeral plan through my partnership with Picaluna Funerals.

So, give yourself and the people you care about a gift and give me, Lauren Newman, a call on 0493 276 554 or email me at treeoflifefunerals@outlook.com and I can come and see you and guide you through it all, or see my website for further information: www.treeoflifefunerals.com.au

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