Doing Death Differently

The shock, the tragedy of suicide. I think we’ve all been touched by suicide. When I hear the news that someone has chosen to take their own life, for me, it’s a sharp intake of breath, and a feeling in my heart of how shocking such tragic news is, followed by the eternal question of “why”? As a funeral director, and as a fellow human being, I have seen too many suicides and the impact it has. The thing is, we just never know, we never know what other people are going through, we never know how they are feeling deep inside themselves. When I was 14, a classmate took their own life and no one would talk about it, which is a dreadful and confusing thing to a young teenager. It’s my experience that most suicides seemingly “come out of the blue” and it’s a total shock to everyone. Once a person makes that final choice, unless we are there, on the spot, there is little we can do, and there is no one to blame as it was that person’s choice. Suicide happens all across society, and at all ages, and its impact is the same to the people left behind wherever it happens.

Did you know that Palliative care is the care and support provided to people who have a progressive, life-limiting illness, and not just for those who are actively dying. Palliative Care aims to improve the quality of life for patients, their families, and carers by addressing their many needs; physical, emotional, social, cultural and spiritual needs.

Grief. 28th of April each year is the International Day of Mourning, so what better day to talk about grief, in all its forms. Grief is our response to loss and it’s normal and natural and it can affect every part of our life, including our thoughts, behaviours, beliefs, feelings, physical health and our relationships with others.

Being able to say goodbye in a personal and meaningful way can help with the grieving process. To hold a funeral or a memorial which truly reflects the individual is a final act of love for the deceased person. Our dead should be able to depart this world in character, whether that means a traditional religious service or with a group of surfies on the beach.

When there is no money to pay for a funeral, if the deceased person had no money or assets they are called 'destitute'. The government may pay for a destitute funeral.

Regrets, we all have them. So how can we do something really simple which can reduce the regrets? Firstly, get out there and live life, embrace the people you care about, spend time with them, call them, share your life with them, love them, and secondly have all your affairs in order so you can get on with living your life.

Why is it important to have an informed conversation about death and dying? We could also ask why is it important to educate ourselves about all the important aspects of life so we can have these informed conversations? Because as a well-informed person, you can make far better choices and you are more likely to achieve the best possible outcome. Talking about death within a family, or with friends, can have amazing effects! It’s a very healthy thing to do, it normalises death as a part of life, it can be the start of educating yourself about death and dying, removing the myths, reducing the fear. It empowers people to take charge of their own end of life and death.

Tree of Life Funerals, Batemans Bay to Narooma, with Picaluna Beautiful Funerals, is changing the way funerals are done, for the better. As such, we embrace end-of-life practices that bring healing and connection.

Did you know that Palliative care is for every person who has a life limiting illness, not just for those who are actively dying. Tree of Life Funerals with Picaluna, can provide the right advice to assist you in accessing all of these services as well as pre-planning a funeral. We can provide all the advice and services for a completely personalised funeral.

A home funeral allows you to celebrate and honour the deceased person’s life and mourn their loss for several days in the privacy of your own home. Choosing to care for your loved one in this way means they aren’t alone on their final journey, and your family and friends have the opportunity to say their final goodbyes in their own meaningful way.

Pre-planning and documenting your wishes and having the conversations about your end of life with the people you care about is such a gift to them.

Grief Australia, https://www.grief.org.au/ has a lot of resources for a whole range of grief types.

Grief has so many aspects.